Thankfully he was kind in saying there needed to be changes and instead of telling me what changes to make, he asked me a few questions and gave suggestions on how to create some basic story telling principles. I wrote down those notes 3/4 of the way down the page below the horizontal line. (You'll notice it's near impossible to read. That's how I protect my work from prying eyes like YOURS! I kid. I just have horrible handwriting). His feedback was great and extremely valuable (some would say invaluable. See, not a writer. That's why it's all about the drawings folks.), so I am beyond grateful for his friendship and expertise. Thanks brotha! So I went back to the drawing board (literally) and thought about his advice and made some changes.Check back to see what happens next. This is edge of your frickin' seat stuff, I know.
So for now I leave you with a quick sketch from tonight (not relevant to this book).